Seeing others cope while we struggle is discouraging but it can also be a false impression.
We just see the other person coping effortlessly. We tend to forget that they either had to learn how to cope, earn their ability to cope through hard-won experience or have it drummed into their heads by someone else so they would know what to do.
No one ploughs a straight furrow on their first go
[Photo courtesy of Joanna Young on Flickr]
Some people cope during difficult times because it's in their experience to do so.
Let's put these pesky, proficient other people to one side for a moment and look at difficulty from another point of view:
What difficult times do you make look easy?
What is second nature to you?
What has your experience taught you to cope with?
What’s been drummed into you?
As well as being personal to you, your answers show that there will be times where you’re the one coping. Times when you make things look easy. Situations that give others confidence in you. Settings suited to your experience.
We can find the same things difficult but what we find difficult also depends on our experience and our point of view.
When you are finding things difficult, look around and ask:
Who is making this look easy?
What experience is helping them to cope?
What can I learn from their behaviour?
What's the best way to ask that person for help?
Maybe questions like these will help you find a new point of view on difficult times.
All the best for now,
Paul
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